Steph's Ripples

It's good to go back to the roots of things, to remember why you started the things you started, why you did the things you did, why you started this project and not that project?  There are so many new information, daily distractions and events that stir us away from our purpose. When you lose connection with that sense of purpose, it's a real challenge to get motivated, especially during rough times. I mean there are always situations to deal with. Always go back to the source of things. There's always something to learn or remember. 

This is a question that I often ask myself. I especially do so when things are not going well. Bad times definitely bring up those moments of doubt and anxiety. You begin to wonder why? According to Adler, life has in general no meaning. However, you can give it meaning. This was quite revealing. It essentially goes to say that we give meaning to our lives. We hold the cards of life. It's up to us if we want to pursue a meaningful life or not. I always believe that we are put here for a reason. This gives me faith to continue moving forward. Sometimes, life doesn't make sense, but we've got to continue our journey of progression. There's always more to life. 

I've come to accept that things happen gradually. There's no such thing as instantaneous. I'm referring to life in general. We should not try to rush things. Let the course of nature unfolds at its normal pace. The key is to be patient. It's not about waiting for things to happen. Rather it's about focusing on the doing, rather than for that next big thing to happen. It's about embracing the now and know in your heart of heart that when the time comes, you'll look back and realise how far you've come. Change is gradual but if constant, you'll progress much faster. With intention and learning as you go along. Keep dancing and always be on the move. 

I have been reminded to focus on the daily activities. Focus on the now. Now only exists in this present moment. Even if you don't reach your destination, at least you know you already started. You achieved whatever you needed by living in that moment. There is a huge significance in knowing that you don't have to 'actually' fulfill your goal to have been successful. Thus you concentrate on the 'doing' rather than thinking about the goal. It's about what you can do now and do it. When we pay too much attention to a destination, it's easy to lose hope and detract when times get hard. If we, instead, go on with doing what we need daily, we are already ahead. Whether or not we reach our goal is irrelevant because we are already on the path. We enjoy every moment.  

This is a reminder that we should be always be grateful, especially during tough times. Practicing gratitude keeps you grounded. My perspective has completely changed when I started to purposely list and think of things I'm thankful for. Over time, it came to me almost naturally. You begin to notice the little things. You begin to see beauty around you. You begin to appreciate what is. . In gratitude, there is no judgement. There is only us at the level of being. Gratitude makes us feel whole when we are shaken up. It keeps us centered and helps us to move forward.  My gratitude journey started with writing 3 things I'm grateful for after waking up. I have a special notebook. After I ran out of pages, I stopped. It had already became ingrained in me and I'm so grateful for such an uplifting experience. 

Life is full of surprises. Sometimes, an event or a situation can make us feel overwhelmed and defeated. Last week, I had one such a terrible day- it was awful and it gave me a horrible headache and unnecessary stress. I was completely out of it, and despite having thoughts of calmness (this too will pass), I kept wondering why? Why is this happening? Why? (in retrospect, maybe so I can write about it). One of the biggest lesson I gained from this experience is to transform it into something beneficial. How can you turn this bad event upside down and turn it into your advantage? Another lesson, which I am writing about today, is to always remember that things can be solved and things get better. Time heals. It's not because of one miserable event that we have to torture ourselves and cry out loud. Again, remember that this will pass. There's always more opportunity to build and create. Tomorrow is another day and brand new day of your life. So even though there will be...

I feel so grateful to remember times when I felt at peace. Sometimes we are led to believe that we will only experience joy once we attain a certain destination- big goal. However, I'm glad I realised that moments of joy can be experienced through simple things in life. It's all about the journey. We get so engrossed in being behind, still far away from our dream, that we forget our daily wins. This post is a reminder to embrace life and all that it comes with. Find the good in everything. 

A lot of my readings lately have been pointing me towards "Doing important work", "Do what matters""Take action" This is a teaching that I wished I was taught. Then I realised that even if I did, maybe I wouldn't have used it. Why? Because even now I feel like most of the time, I'm unmotivated or feel overwhelmed. So what I found is this: find something useful or beneficial in whatever you do. There will be times when you'll feel like you're wasting time and times when you think you're running out of time. I don't believe that time is ever wasted. It's all about perspective. Go with the flow. Enjoy the process. 

I've never truly experienced excruciating pain. I tell myself I can deal with whatever comes in my way. However, the past few days, I was literally left in horrible pain. It's mostly physical, but it went straight to my brain. I thought I've been mentally impaired for a few moment. The pain was unbearable and I just wanted it to go away. I finally understood what pain feels like.  Here's a few lessons learnt: Pain demands to be felt (a quote from "The Fault in our Stars" by John Green). Remember: this too will pass. Nothing lasts forever.  When in pain, don't try to fight it. Instead, accept the pain. Embrace it before letting go. Once you fully welcome the pain, it will slowly ease, leaving in peace.  This situation is trying to tell you something- what is it? What can you learn from this experience. Everything happens for a reason. Pain is not a great feeling, but you can go through it.

I've recently came across this concept. It basically tells us that no one is born genius, or necessarily become a pro in an instant. We can have better propensity to become a professional or an overnight success due to our circumstances. However, to become extremely good at something requires determination and consistent work behind closed doors. Keep doing your work even though you don't feel like it, when you become unmotivated and even if you don't seem to reap any benefits.  We tend to hear of successful people and think they are simply 'lucky'or 'more privileged'. We can all create our own luck and success by willingly doing the work. Keep at it for the long haul. Do it because your soul demands it, not to appear successful in front of other people. Do it because it feels right. Do it because quitting is not an option. It's not about recognition, it's about doing things that matter and matter to you. 

Going through inconvenience and dealing with occasional problems can be draining. These moments make us question our life purpose. Times like this make me exasperated and stressed. It's mentally challenging to stay above, when all you want is to turn the page. It's not easy. I found that there is always a valid reason behind a situation. A lesson to be learnt. These present the best opportunity to grasp something. Of course, it's not always obvious at the time. During bad times, remember that this too will pass. You can always choose the direction in which you want to go, how you want to tackle the issue. You always have the choice. Make the right one. Do what feels right.

I've been re-reading the book "The Courage to be Disliked" by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. The first time I read it, it made sense. I'm now reading it again to assimilate more of the teachings. It's been a revealing read. I'm thoroughly engrossed and amazed with this new perception of living. When you think about it, life in itself is simple. Put people in it and then it suddenly gets complicated. We start comparing, feeling we're not good enough, judging and criticising to make ourselves feel better. We start to basically run by how other people perceive us.  Here's the deal though:  We fail to live by living people's lives. We forego who we are, to the detriment of others. We care too much about others to care about ourselves (note this is not about selfishness or being self-absorbed).  We fail to realise that this is not Living, but existing.  I spent a lot of time seeking validation, pleasing people, doing what I was told to m...

I'm not ready. I don't have what it takes. What if I lack the skills and fail miserably? These are many questions that come to my mind when I plan something. It's a stressful conversation in my mind. Even though I know life is all about making mistakes and learn from them, I try my best to avoid them. I simply try to avoid inconveniences. I know they are unavoidable, but still I'd prefer things to go smoothly. I think I spend too much time of making sure things go right, rather than taking the proper action. I was later reminded that they are excuses to not getting started. It's a form of procrastination. It would prove a point when things don't go as expected. I have the goal to not get the job done because I don't want to change. I want to stay where I am, even if it means being stuck where I am.  Since then, I've realised that it's okay not to be ready. It's okay to learn as you go along. You should actually start before you feel re...

Grapevine is toxic and it serves no purpose other than to make one (the gossiper) feels better. The problem with this is that you rely on others to be happy. It is really a waste of time and energy. If it is genuine and being informed make us want to reach out to that person, then it's almost respectable. However, to gossip with the sole purpose of ridiculing, making you feel better, spreading false rumours is despicable and a mistake sometimes we indulge into.  I've recently heard a few things that I would have preferred to be spared of. Anyway, when I look at it at first glance, I felt nothing. Then I felt hurt and sad- sad for the people who resort to such activities and sad for the negativity it creates. Of course, I've learnt not to take things personally (because it's not a problem of mine, it's their own issue) and that things happen for a reason. With this in mind, I thought of what I had to learn from this situation. It's during these painful momen...

I spent a lot of time wishing that I was someone else. I want to be more of this and that. I didn't find anything wrong in this. It came the time when I realised how silly this was. It was not unreasonable, but still it was wishful thinking. The truth is that I was not accepting myself. I was not okay with who I was. I mean no one is perfect. We're all full of flaws, but instead of embracing all the qualities I had, I was focused on things I lacked. Obviously, this made me unhappy and I was seeking something that I don't even truly wish for. This is because my lack made up for excuses.  It's humbling to understand that, in the end, you've got only you. You've got to love yourself the way you are, be authentic, be You through and through. It's not easy, but I think when we embrace who we are, life becomes seemingly better. You are able to see life in a different eye. It changes your perspective. It makes you become more open. Open to everything. Acce...

This is a term I have come across very often. The benefits of being consistent. The importance of being consistent. The reasons to be consistent. Well, for one, I have tried times and again to be consistent. I don't even think it has to do with routine. It's simply the ability to keep at doing something, through rough and tough, not only during the good days, but also during the less good ones. It's about doing the thing even if you don't feel like it. It is also a question of priorities. Distractions are daily occurrences that we cannot avoid (also excuses to procrastinate). We must think about the long term. It takes time to build something.  It is a real challenge. It's not simple to be consistent for the sake of being consistent. The underlying reasons are always important because they prompt you to think about the long haul. I'm trying my best to be consistent because I know it's going to help me. It's a skill I need to embrace and earn...

I've cut myself from blogging for a while. It was an unintentional break. For someone who thinks she knows her priorities, I've been left wondering. I've been distracted. I've kept my distance. I almost forgot, until I listen to "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. She mentioned that she started a blog on a whim to take some action. It reminded me of my personal blog.  This is one thing I realise. What you don't use, you lose. I've got caught up with random things in my life and the next thing. I lost my routine. I lost my feet, and once you get your way out of something, it's like it never happened.  Also, if something feels like a burden you shouldn't really do it. I feel it's counterproductive. Of course, sometimes you have to push yourself, get yourself back into it. There should be a balance between what is right and not right for you.  For me, I really enjoyed blogging, putting my thoughts into writing and sharing. ...