Seeking Validation

I've been re-reading the book "The Courage to be Disliked" by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. The first time I read it, it made sense. I'm now reading it again to assimilate more of the teachings. It's been a revealing read. I'm thoroughly engrossed and amazed with this new perception of living. When you think about it, life in itself is simple. Put people in it and then it suddenly gets complicated. We start comparing, feeling we're not good enough, judging and criticising to make ourselves feel better. We start to basically run by how other people perceive us. 

Here's the deal though: 

We fail to live by living people's lives. We forego who we are, to the detriment of others. We care too much about others to care about ourselves (note this is not about selfishness or being self-absorbed).  We fail to realise that this is not Living, but existing. 

I spent a lot of time seeking validation, pleasing people, doing what I was told to make people happy. Was I happy? I ended up feeling even more self-conscious and scared about doing a wrong move. I lived for the sake of being appreciated and I've since realised that this was not living. It's too unpredictable. I cannot control how people look at me. So I constantly need to adjust myself to fit in. What if you don't fit in your own picture though?