Steph's Ripples

I've been re-reading the book "The Courage to be Disliked" by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. The first time I read it, it made sense. I'm now reading it again to assimilate more of the teachings. It's been a revealing read. I'm thoroughly engrossed and amazed with this new perception of living. When you think about it, life in itself is simple. Put people in it and then it suddenly gets complicated. We start comparing, feeling we're not good enough, judging and criticising to make ourselves feel better. We start to basically run by how other people perceive us.  Here's the deal though:  We fail to live by living people's lives. We forego who we are, to the detriment of others. We care too much about others to care about ourselves (note this is not about selfishness or being self-absorbed).  We fail to realise that this is not Living, but existing.  I spent a lot of time seeking validation, pleasing people, doing what I was told to m...

I'm not ready. I don't have what it takes. What if I lack the skills and fail miserably? These are many questions that come to my mind when I plan something. It's a stressful conversation in my mind. Even though I know life is all about making mistakes and learn from them, I try my best to avoid them. I simply try to avoid inconveniences. I know they are unavoidable, but still I'd prefer things to go smoothly. I think I spend too much time of making sure things go right, rather than taking the proper action. I was later reminded that they are excuses to not getting started. It's a form of procrastination. It would prove a point when things don't go as expected. I have the goal to not get the job done because I don't want to change. I want to stay where I am, even if it means being stuck where I am.  Since then, I've realised that it's okay not to be ready. It's okay to learn as you go along. You should actually start before you feel re...

It's all about: Self-acceptance Self respect Self-confidence Self-love Self-care Living authentically

It happens ever so often our minds are cluttered. There are so many thoughts spinning around, tasks to complete. We're busy and overwhelmed. Most of the time, these are not productive periods. We cannot really produce effective work during these circumstances. A good reminder is to ask yourself "Is what I'm doing right now meaningful work? Is this contributing towards my goals? Is this beneficial to me in any way?" Free your mind to focus on the essential. Do meaningful work. Of course, it's normal to stumble at times-it's part of life- so long you are able do continue move forward. 80% of the time. Free your mind by doing what matters to you. Take time to reflect and meditate. Take some time off, if required, to recharge yourself. Once you do, keep the momentum going. Find your flow and let it push you towards the right path.

Life is a journey and you've got to keep going. No matter what. I came across this poem while reading the book "Identity" by Stedman Graham. I definitely recommend this book. It provides an opportunity to step back and have a clear look at your values, what you stand for and know yourself better. A quick google search and  I came across the poem "Don't you quit". This is such a beautiful reminder to not lose faith and be quick to despair. Remember you have what it takes and that success is the result of tenacity in face of hardship.  Don't Quit by John Greenleaf Whittier

In Socrates' words "The unexamined life is not worth living". It might not ring a bell the first time you read those words. Once you do though, it opens a world of contemplation. It's so astounding how meaningful that simple phrase is. It holds so much power and knowledge. The thing is we don't really learn to learn about ourselves. We learn to read, write, doing maths, using the PC and what not. There is however, no subject or course about learning more about yourself. It is not in the curriculum. We don't see the value in knowing what matters to us. I realise this is why I had a hard time knowing my values, or rather acknowledging them. Our values are at the core of who we are. We lose them in the process of following social and cultural norms. We buy into labels, roles and views. We don't know better. This is simply because we lost connection with ourselves, our soul, our intuition in the process of growing up. It's no wonder many of us end ...

Eat the colours of the rainbow. We are, after all, what we eat. I truly believe that what we eat has a real impact on our lives, not only body-wise, but also mentally.  The more colourful our plate is, the more vibrant we feel. The more colour means we are having a more well-balanced and nourishing meal. It's like mood. Sometimes you can only see black and white. It's hard to see past those dull colours. However, if we eat something exciting, it can open our eyes. It's a reminder and food for the soul. 

Most of the time, we are living on auto-pilot. We wake up, eat, deal with daily tasks and routine, sleep and repeat. Needless to add, we're busier than ever. How often do we take time to appreciate what's around us? How often are we aware of what we are really doing? How often do we really pay attention to what we're doing without being distracted either by technological devices or worries?  I found myself doing a lot of things on autopilot, which is beneficial in many aspects. It leaves you with more energy to do new things. However, there comes a point where we fail to notice the little things, learn from what we're doing. We become like a machine, doing and doing without asking why we're doing the things we're doing. We lost value and significance of the tasks we're tackling. This is the dead end, when we lost meaning in what we're doing. This is when we become stagnant and fail to see opportunity to build on something we already have.  Thi...

You can be inspired by people, stories, movies. However motivation comes from within. No one can force you or push you to be motivated. You are the one who needs to make the move and take action. Most of the time, we wait and wait until motivation appears. What happens is that nothing happens. We end up wasting precious time. How do you find motivation? It comes from inside. Motivation comes from a higher source. The truth is we're full of radiant energy and we often let it dormant. To find motivation, we have to let our heart speaks and follow our intuition. What is it we want the most and why? Listen. When you're pushed by a greater cause, your desire and passion will fuel the motivation you need. 

In this world, we have to conform to many things- rules, customs, traditions. It's not that they are not important, but sometimes, it hinders the ability to just be. To live freely, to follow our heart's desire, our calling, our inner guide.  I believe that deep down, all of us has the true desire to help, be of service, and be kind to one another. Our real nature and instinct is to love and appreciate all that life has to offer. However, this pure innate instinct dissipates due to all unnatural things created around us, backed by a desire to not do the right thing.  I think of all the lovely living things which bring so much life to this world: birds chirping, blooming flowers and nature in all its seasons.

I am good enough. Repeat × infinity. Part of me believe the reason why we don't trust ourselves is simply because we think or are led to believe that we're not good enough. This halters our ability to do our best, to be our best version, to thrive. We need affirmations to stop doubting our true potential. Have faith in ourselves. Reminder, the brain believes what you tell it.

As this year comes to a close, I believe the most rewarding action to take is to list down all the things you are grateful for. It will be a gateway to reflect on all that happened during the year. It'll be an opportunity to unwind and see all the blessings you received. Sometimes what appears to be challenging and undesirable turned out to be a learning curve.  This is the time to be reminded of all the lessons learnt. Life has so much to teach us, but all lessons are learnt within and kept inside. Be aware that we have all that we need at any given time. I'm grateful for 2017 and all that it came with. Count your blessings.

Something that has to be acknowledged is the fact that there is a downward pull to the universe. This means that we are always more prone to darkness, having negative feelings and emotions, being pessimistic rather than being in the positive limelight. Our general tendency is to feel negative when an event occurs. Why? Based on my readings, I have come with a few different reasons, but similar in nature as to why we are more inclined to being down than up. Nos. Ever since we're born, we're told NO. No to various things as we are learning, so that we don't make mistakes or be an embarrassment. These Nos are constantly put on our faces and we can't help but feel intimidated- losing that inner child, who is playful, an adventurer and filled with life. Sin. In this world, there is always a balance- good/bad, heaven/hell, saint/sinner. Sin is always there, waiting for the right moment to strike in. It's been there since the creation of the Earth and we hav...

One of my favourite thing to say is undeniably, 'Everything comes as a blessing in disguise'. It's not easy sometimes to decipher the way life unfolds, to understand and to accept. It's especially the case when things are not going exactly the way we expect them to. Something that has tremendously helped me overcome those feelings of 'the world is out there trying to get me' is to see how things happen for a reason. We don't often see it right away, but over time we can see and reflect how every single event in our lives have been opportunities- to grow, to learn, to move forward in a different but more rewarding direction. Life is not necessarily trying to put you in circumstances you feel uncomfortable, but helping you along the way. The universe is always working with us and we need to have faith in the universe. It's that constant believe that will carry you further up and up.

Something I have come to realise deeply this year is that the universe is always working with you. However, most of the time we remain closed to its blessings. We cannot see the positive and instead focus on events not going our way. Having expectations is one of the main cause of unhappiness, as well as entitlement. The universe is always giving us what we need, providing for us and give us reason to love life. I found that I for myself, never truly believe in the goodness of the universe. I was ignorant and of little faith. I failed to recognise all the good. It's so easy to cave in and make excuses and judge- so easy. It takes courage to live fearlessly.  Once you realise that the universe is your friend, it's like a veil lifted and you can finally see clearly. "What you believe is what you create". Once I was ready to overcome those made-up thoughts, I was able to see all that life does for me, all that life has to offer and all that I have to offer. It w...

This is inspired by Louise Hay: How to love yourself. We are so quick to criticism and judgement due to fear. Th only way you can heal yourself is by accepting and loving yourself. Don't take anything that happens to you more than what it is, creating the worse scenarios. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Select thoughts that will empower you. Nurture. Plant good positive seeds. It's ok to make mistakes while learning. Everything takes time. Anything you do the first time will feel uncomfortable. Be kind to your mind by doing positive affirmations which build you up. Don't be judgemental on your thoughts. You are lovable because you exist. Don't blame yourself. Do not fall into the pattern of guilt, punishment a pain. Respond to life in a kind way. Relax. Breathe and breathe out, let go. Release all fear, tension. Be patient, be open. Everything will be revealed to you when you are ready. Allow things to happen.

Each one of us is blessed. Although, it's hard for us to see it. We are so close and focused on everyday life, tasks to be done, our issues -most of which are self-created- that we cannot see our blessings.  Keep in mind that you are blessed. It's such a positive affirmation and reinforcement. When you realise and fully embrace that, it's like a weight lifted. You will then truly realised how blessed you are. 

One of the things that prevent us from doing is doubting. There is always that voice inside our head lurking making us second-guess ourselves. No matter how strong we can be, it's something we have to be aware of.  We doubt because: We don't want to get hurt if something doesn't go the way we want (protection) We don't want to feel ashame or unworthy (worthiness) We do not know how the future's going to unfold (unknown/ future) We fear of not being enough- comparison trap (whole person) We associate the present with prior experiences (past) When you feel doubt, accept it as a normal emotion. Do not view doubt as a negative feeling you have to get rid of. Do not resist. Accept that you are having doubts, and there are valid reasons why you are feeling like that. Elaborate more on those reasons and balance everything out. It might not be as bad as you think. After you take in time to reflect, let everything out. Slowly begin to doubt your doubts and let...

One of the most enlightening moments in my life was to realise that we all have what it takes. However, we are close to that ability. We are not willing to see it. So, instead of swimming into that beautiful pool of resources, our potential, we sink to the bottom hole. We focus on what we fear we don't have. We focus on the negative thoughts, emotions. We are more prone to associate ourselves with 'I can't' rather that I can, I am ready! It's not entirely our fault. We are surrounded by 'Nos' since our births. We take it for granted that we are not enough because we're never told we are enough. All the accumulation of doubts, fear of unworthiness and negative emotions always appear in our moments of sadness. We are no longer in control. Always remember that you have all that it takes. You have the power within you. Most of the time, it only needs a gentle push to be awakened, to let it out. Experience true happiness and freedom when you do.

I'm in the process of reading the book 'Life loves you' by Louise Hay and Robert Holden. I'm deeply fascinated by the approach of the book. It feels like you are on this writing/self-discovery journey with them. This personal account of every step seems genuine and inclusive.  Live loves you. This is a such a positive affirmation. There is no judgement, no justification, no criticism. It's a simple statement with so much power. Truly, I feel like sometimes the world is working against us for some reasons and even though you know it's all made-up in your mind, you can't let go of the suffering. You have to give time to let the thoughts go, emotions fade away and breathe. During that instant, remember life loves you. There is no one against you. If you don't let the sunshine in and remain in darkness, that's only because you chose to. The sun is going to shine whether you feel good or bad. It's always there. However, if you chose not to le...